Why don't we put ourselves first?

This is a question I have come to ask myself recently, when I've taken a step back and really looked at the way I think and do things.

When you first start on your journey to become mum, you know that your priorities will need to change and that the needs of another will soon trump your own, every single time.

When that line turns blue and you know that a baby is indeed on its way, you feel different because you know you have this responsibility to nurture and protect.

Suddenly, everything you do has a direct impact on your baby.

What you eat. What you drink. How active or inactive you are. How much sleep you have. Even what you wear ends up being determined by how much stretch it has and if bump feels comfortable.

And of course, you don't complain. Much. You knew you would need to adjust and you're compelled to do all that you can for your baby-to-be.

For me, as soon as I knew that I had a little bean (our nickname for Ethan before we knew who he was) I immediately thought about what I was doing and how that might impact on him. I read up on the nutrients I should be getting from my food, I never missed a breakfast and I always had a snack pack for when I could feel my energy levels dip.

I have never taken care of myself as much as I did when I was pregnant.

Soon after Ethan was born, all my good habits all but dissipated.

No more regular breakfasts. Much more lax about my eating habits. Nothing too bad really but I certainly wasn't a goody two shoes any more.

But why?

Well, yes I had given birth and bean was now Ethan, but why did I take that as a signal to stop caring for myself, my body, so much? I guess that my priorities, rightfully, changed as I adapted to becoming mum and putting Ethan first.

But I'm still doing it. Not necessarily with Ethan all the time, but in general. I am rarely the first in line. And it is my own doing.

I don't make the time to prepare or sit down to eat breakfast. It's never inspired me but I know it's important and I know it can't be good to go without until 1pm, or to rely on a sneaky snack in between if I get desperate.

I don't make the time to take care of myself like I used to when I had bump. Be it having a bath or having a good skincare routine, I was far more religious about these things when bean was in my belly.

Really, it's all too easy for me to let other priorities take over. Ethan. The house. Work. Family. And of course, some of these things should of course come first, be at the front of the line.

But, what if you're always at the back?

Yeah, yeah. I'll do something about it. I will. In a bit. Next time.

There's always a next time, though, so really my point is that we should all try and make a little more room for ourselves. Remember who we were and who we are today. Think about what we need and want.

And try to make the time to move ourselves to the front of the line.

Just sometimes.

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