In the first of three exclusive expert interviews, I've had the pleasure of speaking with Xaviera Plas Plooj from the best-selling book and app The Wonder Weeks. I've enjoyed using this app ever since Ethan was born and was keen to ask Xaviera about the popularity of The Wonder Weeks and whether they feel there's enough support out there for new mums and dads...
How difficult was it to summarize everything that can happen to a child in the first 20 months of their life into one book?
That would be impossible do so we focused on providing a list of
examples and we tried to show how much variety there is. Some babies are
trying to master the more visible skills like crawling or walking. We parents
love to see these new skills. But…. what about the baby that doesn't crawl yet,
but is ‘only’ busy touching or feeling the rim of something? These babies are
actually doing mind-blowing brain-related work! They are experiencing gravity and
playing with it.
By showing parents what a baby perceives and what type of
things a baby can discover, we hope to empower parents to observe and discover
all the incredible things their baby does. We don’t make a definitive list of what their
baby will definitely do; we can only point them in the right direction. The thing is, if
you know where to look and what you are looking for as a parent, you see things
you would normally not see.
This is so true! Ethan is still toying with the idea of crawling but just can't seem to figure out how to move forward on his knees. But there's lots of other things he can do so we need to appreciate that he may develop differently and there's nothing to worry about.
Why do you
think the book and app have proved so popular with parents?
We’re all
used to hearing the old sayings like ‘oh, it’s cramps’, or ‘he must be teething’ but as parents, we often know it's not the case and we've had enough of hearing such comments. Our app
and book are so popular because we show people the real reason why their baby
is fussy, not sleeping or crying a lot. Our research has proven that it’s not the parents fault (so don’t
feel like you're doing something wrong), it’s not your baby (thank goodness), it's just
normal, and can even be a sign of good development. The Wonder Weeks aims to give parents confidence as it's based on pure
research.
Do you
think parents have enough resources / support available to help them understand
the stages of their child's development?
No, I
don’t! Our book and app are there and they give enough information on the first
two years of life. But hey, parenting doesn't stop there! I've always wondered
why nobody got up and researched the years from two onwards so thankfully parents now have The Wonder Weeks to help.
What's the
most common concern / question parents ask?
Parents
still always wonder if it’s just a ‘wonder week’ or if something more is going
on. So I get a lot of emails everyday with these concerns. It's impossible to answer them all unfortunately and for medical diagnoses, a doctor is best placed to advise. I can
however say that it is almost always ‘just’ a wonder week. I'm just very glad
that more and more doctors now ‘diagnose’ wonder weeks and reassure parents it
will pass.
Do you
think mums can worry too much about the development of their child? Is there a
lot of competitiveness / comparisons made do you think?
Worrying
too much… yes and no. A baby is the most precious ‘thing’ ever, so it’s logical
and normal that you would always want the best for your baby. That (impossible
I may add) strive for perfection is what keeps us sharp as a parent. This impossible quest to perform at your best level of parenting can impact on your life in a negative way.
Now, as for the
competing, that is a totally different thing. We at The Wonder Weeks make quite
a huge deal of not judging, not saying how to do something, but when it comes
to competitiveness and comparisons, we make an exception. STOP DOING THAT. It’s no
good for you, no good for your baby and from experience I can say that over 90%
of these 'my-child-is-better-developed-and-much-faster-than-yours' discussions are
rubbish. It’s always
someone who only looks at motoric skills or the pure schoolish cognitive
skills.
Well, I shall let you in on a little secret: we all learn to walk at
one point! But remember that baby I was telling about in the beginning, playing
with the rim of something? He became a brilliant doctor in physics. Bet you his
mum had to hear a zillion times her baby was dumb, as he didn't walk until later on! The
thing is, his brain was just too busy for walking, and he was using it for
something else.
Thank you Xaviera! Very inspiring words - who knows what the quiet child playing in the corner may become? We all learn things at different times and have different strengths. Here's to giving our babies time to grow at their own pace.
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